Ahhhhh Crazy Doctor Init!

Ahhhhhhhh Salamalaikem, me been coming down with an illness init, mi main bruva javid khan told me i could have the swine flu init but no i no eat pig forbidden init no halal. anyway he reccomend i go see doctar ahmed, the crazy doctor at audley range init! he so crazy he smoke sheesha all day on the job like a naughty bruva init. so i see him and he go psycho on me init, fucking chase me with needle! crazy nigger! but he told me i have no swine flu init, so me a happy bruva init, no sad feelings! gussum

Bloody Heart Broken Init!

ahhh salams, sanjeev is a very sad bruva today!, i have had my heart broken izit! :( well there was this girl! super hot indian girl back home! papa show me picture of her with vale on init so i thought "ahhh isit i want her" so my papa arranged get us married init! so i went to india to meet this sweet hot chick init but to my disgust! she was a GORA! blooody wasnt even thinkinnnnnnng! i was heart broken! i wanted black indian virgin with wide eyes! :( fucking gora muslims! they think they are black but they are white init! stay back in england init no go tricking bruva's init! fucking HARAMZADAM!! gussum!

Sanjeev Is Back and Blacker than Ever isit

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Salams

me here to talk about mi come back on blogblog init, me been away for a few month, went back home to india init to visit my main bruva Ahmed!, he just baught a new buffalo and he let me have a go on it init. Just come back from india only a day ago init, sold my car izit and baught myself an ASTRAAAAAAAA! i will blog my new car very soon init but for now il let you get teasing of it init, suprise you gussum. Anyway im off now to get a samosa with papa, manchester sweet shop on whalley range IZIT! very tasty hmmmmmm but dont say i told you init, on a diet! no food... forbidden init. gussummm! anyway gudrathezzzzz bruvas

Ahhhh mi new shop init!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh easy bruva! salamalaiken! gussum!

me hear today to talk about mi new corner shop! its called Sanjeev newsagents and its on audley range! easy bruv! init!. mi new shop has all sorts of stuff so if you come down mi main man javid will work in shop and help you find a great deal init!, no alcohol though forbidden init! dirty gora drink! naughty naughty! cassum! anyway me hope me savin you pennys init! check out mi new shop! PK!

Ahhh Modify Init

Ahhhh mi pimped my ride init!

lets go cruizing down audley in my pimped out slab!

Recent MSN Convo with Ahmed izit

easy bruva, salamalaikem! me blogging a recent convo i had on msn with mi main bruv ahmed sajadson:

Sanjeev - Ahhh salamalaiken Ahmed isit!

Ahmed - ahhh salamzzz, easy bruva?

Sanjeev - ahhh isit? me safe bruv! gussum!

Ahmed - Ahh isit, same here you flannel!

Sanjeev - cassum?

Ahmed - Yeah Man easy!

Sanjeev - ahh you fancy coming with me down audley!?

Ahmed - ahh why not eh, fancy goin PK izit?

Sanjeev - ahhh yeh bruv init, gotta be back for 6 though init, top gear on init!

Ahmed - Ahh top gear? they have any corolla's izit?

Sanjeev - dunno init! wait for gora jeramy to tell us init

Ahmed - Gussum! safe bruv

Ahhh Nando's

Ahhhhhh salamz!

me and mi main bruv Bilal went in the car to nando's izit!, at first i felt nervous init because chicken might not of been halal isit! but when i got there mi main bruv bilal told me its halal chicken so i eat it! pushed in queue init and got table! PRIORITY INIT! me and bilal sat down and had romantic meal together whilst staring at the sexy gora nando worker! Cassum!

First Album Ever Init!

Ahhhh Salamzz, easy bruv! me here today to talk about mi first album ever init. here is the story init. When i was a young asian boy back on the streets of Audley! me and mi main bruvs used to listen to number 1 gangsta hip hop artist 20 Yen, he was like a hero init! all mi main bruvs had his new album "get rich die cheaper" init and i never, so i asked papa if i could work in shop to earn some cashh to get down to HMV and get mi 20 yen album, after 3 weeks of working 14 hour shifts me earned mi much needed £4.99 for mi album, so mi got mi uncle Kahn to take me down in his astraaaaa init, got mi album and i was a happy asian! Gussum!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh PK!

PK foods (pronounced "Pee-Kay") Audley Range - Blackburn UK

Ahhhhh salamalaiken!!!! me hear to talk about mi main shop PK! Pk is like a brother to me, always there when i need it! always stock up in me warburtons toastie loaf init! got me samosas from there and mi PILAL RICE! ahhh salamalaikem! there is nothing better than pulling up outside PK! with mi toyota corolla and buyin samosa's with the bruv's. Biggest respect goes out to mi main man Mr PK! who owns PK foods! community has your back bruva!

The True Meaning Of Gussum!

ahhhh salamalaikem! easy bruva's me hear today init to tell you what gussum means! for those of you who know me and mi main bruv bilal! you will hear us say gussum alot init. thats because it stands for "Trust Me" and as a main bruv in the community, we wanna be trusted by the people! ahhhhh GUSSUMMM! sooo if you hear me say gussum! trust me ;) init because im trustworthy like a toyota isit! easy brother!

Alan Sugar Bloody Racist!

Ahhh Salamalaikem!

Bloody watching apprentice init, what the faj! whyy did he get rid of the main bruv maj! he is the best apprentice there! fuckin gora jew ghandu sugar! he dont know what he is doing, gussum gussum! who is alan sugar! my business is better than his shitty arm shed! or amstrad what ever its called... PK! audley range bruv home of the apprentices and businesses of the year init

Guilty Pleasure Init!

GUILTY PLEASURE INIT!

ahhh salamalaiken! gussum!, we all have guilty pleasure, even madonna have guilty pleasure, here is another one of my guilty pleasures, respect to the big man, this guy is like biggie small! greatest rapper in the community yeah, Introducing 20 yen.... bit like 50 cent but japanease and cheaper! INIT BRUVA! download his sick tunes on TunesI for your Ipord, love 20 yen, biggest gangsta! dr dre khan doesnt even come close, but he a bruva izit!

Ghandi Gora

GHANDI GORA! ..... GHANDU!

Asalamalakem Gussum gussum! easy brother...

me not blogged init for a while yeah, gonna talk a little about mine and bilals good friend gora ghandi (joe hartsthorn). Gussumm! gonna give you the basics init, Gora means whitey (or white male) and ghandi is the famous bruvaa Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, he was a gentleman and a good man in the community, well Gora Ghandi is White Peicemaker or skinny white boy which joe Gora ghandi is init! gussum.

Gora Ghandi think he is black because he live up audley! but he aint a real bruva, ohh no no no no no! what a vulnerable little white boy, but he wants to be a bruva and so the community has your back izit, gussum! GHANDU! GORA! izzzzzIT! corolla! PK!

Big Brother Auditionz

Gussumm! gussum... Salamalaiken! sanjeev recently applied for big brother izit, so im going to blog my audition, this is what i said to them on my application cassette record ;););)

***

Ahhh Salamz, mi names Sanjeev... Sanjeev Patel but mi brothers call me Sanjeevus or MC Sugar Khan. I like cricket... gentleman sport init, keeps me healthy and slim like a real asian brother should be. I like to spend my free time crusing down mi main street Audley or helping out good old Javid at corner shop. Me got business man of the year 99 with mi own business "sanjeev's chicken palace", it was takeaway heaven but unfortunatly some gora let a rat loose in the kitchen when the health and safety brothers where checking it up init, lost mi business :(. I think il be good in the house because im a community boy and i love living with the brothers, im an entertainer and sometimes i show my bits. If your lucky i will shave my beard tash off but only if you let me on, anywahh easy brother, me going to go now and do mi biz with javid ahmed, respect to the cuz, community has your back izit, guusummm !

Reviewing My Car Init

Ahhhhh easy bruva's, gussum!, sanjeev and javid here to give you bruv's a quick review of my car init, baught it of mi big cuz Irfan, biggest respect goes to him and the khan family, the community has your back bruva

anyway init lets get to the review, mi car is a 1991 toyota corrola izit, with a 2.0 liter engine init, it was supposed to be a 1.3 but mi main bruv heskey-boi worked his black majik on it and managed to squeeze a beast of a engine in it, drives like lewis hamilton khan init

the car goes very very fast indeed, perfect for driving down audley with the gussums, or even whalley range with the cuzens izit, easy brother, it aint got power steering because i broke it init, but its reyt because pussy drive power steering cars, we is strong init... gussum, the car can fit 5 people or 34 pakistany brothers if you want, a great bargin for any black asian young driver looking to score some gori pussy ;)

Audley Riders - Sanjeev Patel

Ahh Salamz, i have wrote a new song init, featuring biggest bruv javid khan!, its called audley riders! here goes

Sanjeev Patel - Audley Riders feat Javid Khan

(verse 1)

ahh salamz & welcome to the weekendz...

going down audley cruising round the fast bendz

if your a gora we better not bite yah because sanjeev...

is an audley rider

(chorus)

going down the main street cruising with the bad lads...

park up at PK and greet the bruvas bad dads 

if you see me, crusing with a G...

were audley riders and we ride easy (javid - easiiii) 

(verse 2)

we be a victim of racist yobsters...

gora better know we fight like lobsters

attack by one & attack by 3...

gora going down, he'll never be a G

(chorus)

going down the main street cruising with the bad lads

park up at PK and greet the bruvas bad dads 

if you see me, crusing with a G

were audley riders and we ride easy

(verse 3)

javid khan hanging out the window...

smoking dope and rapping to the beat yoo

sanjeev patel doing all the driving...

together the bruvs are audley riding

(chorus)

going down the main street cruising with the bad lads

park up at PK and greet the bruvas bad dads 

if you see me, crusing with a G

were audley riders and we ride easy

together we are audley ridersssssss (javid - audleyy riders)

Audley Riders

(javid) thats all we be Audley riders (sanjeev - audley riders)

audley riders

Tribute to Hero izit!

ahhh i have always wanted to give tribute to my long lost hero init, uncle bens is a brother who has always been there for me, he has never let the community down! him and his wonderful curry sauces have always brung a tingle to my tastebuds, this bruva is a gussum!, always a brother, never a gora! big up to the uncle of the brova's, mr uncle bens patel hussain khan javid! PK!

Apprentice init

bruvaa's watchin apprentice, bigg upp to my main cuz alan sugar (white relatives init) big gora knows how to do abit of business init, ahh but he not as good as me at business, sanjeev own his own taxi firm init, driving to and from jobz very quickly for a living! AUDLEY!

Pigeon on crossing zeeeebra init

ahhh gussum!

today init i was driving with bilal near vue cinema, and i saw a pigeon walking down path init, i thought to myself maybe it will try and cross the zebra crossing, soo i speeded my car down and allowed the pigeon to cross zeeeebra crossing init, i am proud .... GUSSUM! bilal was very pleased, i made him do a laugh! ha ha ha gussum gussum... PK!

Ahh Guilty Pleasure init

Ahhh Salamalaiken, gussum gussum, we all have guilty pleasure init, but we hate to admit it, i must say my guilty pleasure is dev patel init, he soo hot in slumdog millionaire i would turn gora for him, forbidden init, but guilty charge init!

Gora & Gori

Bloody gora and gori think they good, because they iz white init, but they dont realise that bruva'z are back in town!, AHHH GORA! and AHHH GORI! bloody drinking their beer juices and kicking soccer ball around a field. cricket init, its the way forward init! dont play bloody gora sport! play brother sport, cricket is a gentleman sport init and i am gentle man AHHH SALAMALAIKEN! 

Ahh Salamalaiken

Introduction to myself init, im sanjeev patel hussain, brother of bilal patel, no no no no no! not that bilal patel... no no no not that bilal patel, ahhh but THAT BILAL PATEL! ahhh salamalaiken. gussum gussum gussum, anyway easy brother me hear to tell you about my blog init? well i will be bloging my mind init, spreading the thoughts to the bruvz init, giving you a flava of my imagination and maybe a couple of curry reviews init, well anyway easy brother, gussum & tee gayy!